absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
