I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
