Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
