Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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