Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
