im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
