Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
