Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
