So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
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hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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