Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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