what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
