Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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