1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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