3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
