yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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