Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
