She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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