Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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