those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
