and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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