I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
