we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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