Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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