We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
