I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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