My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
