I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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