just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
