yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My bed smells like the plague
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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