South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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