Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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