So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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