Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize