Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
