Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
