there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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