Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
