Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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