do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are all done wearing pants today
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
