I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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