I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So vagazzling was a success
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
