I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
