It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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