If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
