and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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