how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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