At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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