i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
