where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
