I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
