He is an equal opportunity slut.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
