i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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