I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
