Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
