Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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