May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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