Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i love accidental penises.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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