Duck Duck Cougar?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
