Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
