Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
