addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
