Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
